Back to Jack(et)
It's been a while since I've worn a jacket. The hot weather as of late, my array of Summer clothes, and several other reasons with deeper importance have prevented my wearing one.
In years past--such as when I began this blog before taking a six-year hiatus- I happily wore a black zip-up hoodie almost constantly. There are few photographs of me in existence during this time, thanks to the all-too normal teenage insecurities that plagued us all, I'm sure. Those that do still float around the universe, though, generally feature me wearing my comfort blanket.
Fast-forward to years later at a time when I decided to stop 'pleading the fifth' in regards to my sexuality. During this particular renaissance, I took it upon myself to broaden my personal expression as much as possible. I shunned my introverted nature and built up my confidence, making every attempt to change my reclusive ways.
Vague as that all sounds, I really did make changes. I didn't always walk up to strangers and treat them as old friends in the way that I do now. I wasn't so apt to display my colorful socks day or night (they were always there, but mostly remained hidden under pants before 'the new me'.) And I wasn't as dis-concerned with others' reactions to my sometimes-quirky outfits. Nowadays I'm glad to be a bit of a stand out, and it's something that I'm proud to say broadly contrasts my former self.
To sum it up: what once served as a security blanket for an insecure me has now merely become a garment of practicality. I wear it when it's cold, and if it's color-appropriate. That's it. No internalized necessity here.
When picking up one of my favorite hoodies this evening before heading out to run errands, I checked it for fuzz or threads that may have required 'pruning' before greeting the outside world. I held it up to my face and took in the aroma.
Happily, I found that it bore some remnants of cologne, perfume and a faint trace of second-hand smoke from previous nights out. This blend struck me pleasantly. So much so that I had to give it a second whiff. "What does this smell like?" "Why is it so striking?" "Who smells like this?" I thought to myself.
Him! It smells like him! Whomever he is, and wherever he hides, my perfect someone would smell just like this! A bit of a rough edge, some sensitivity and an all-around blended personality with the confidence to proudly amplify it out into the world.
I'd love to be on the outside of that jacket, cuddled up to whomever wears it, taking in those aromas along with the satisfying comfort in finally having found him.
Until that day, it's me, Amy Winehouse, Robyn, Lana, Karen Carpenter and so many others, wandering about the world through the Fall breezes, watching the birds go about their little lives in trees and reaching for that lip-chap, because you know you need it, and you know it smells like 'good.'
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| See that? Told ya. |
Fast-forward to years later at a time when I decided to stop 'pleading the fifth' in regards to my sexuality. During this particular renaissance, I took it upon myself to broaden my personal expression as much as possible. I shunned my introverted nature and built up my confidence, making every attempt to change my reclusive ways.
 |
| Much better! |
To sum it up: what once served as a security blanket for an insecure me has now merely become a garment of practicality. I wear it when it's cold, and if it's color-appropriate. That's it. No internalized necessity here.
When picking up one of my favorite hoodies this evening before heading out to run errands, I checked it for fuzz or threads that may have required 'pruning' before greeting the outside world. I held it up to my face and took in the aroma.
Happily, I found that it bore some remnants of cologne, perfume and a faint trace of second-hand smoke from previous nights out. This blend struck me pleasantly. So much so that I had to give it a second whiff. "What does this smell like?" "Why is it so striking?" "Who smells like this?" I thought to myself.
Him! It smells like him! Whomever he is, and wherever he hides, my perfect someone would smell just like this! A bit of a rough edge, some sensitivity and an all-around blended personality with the confidence to proudly amplify it out into the world.
 |
| A true friend |
Until that day, it's me, Amy Winehouse, Robyn, Lana, Karen Carpenter and so many others, wandering about the world through the Fall breezes, watching the birds go about their little lives in trees and reaching for that lip-chap, because you know you need it, and you know it smells like 'good.'
posted by Aaron Jay at
12:54 AM
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